Wednesday, February 29, 2012

February 29, 2012 - New shave, new author

Hi, Mom! I'm writing a blog all the way from Nepal and I promised my dad that I would say "hi mom" whenever I made it big...

Libby and I had quite the adventure today, trekking all the way to Durbar Square Kathmandu, and running a couple of errands for Cheryl. But one of the major highlights happened on my own errand. Having diligently remembered to pack my razor (Libby doesn't like to have anything to do with me when I'm not relatively clean shaven), I was dismayed to find that it had no charge upon arrival... I can only hope some customs folks somewhere got some good use out of it. Like I tell everyone that doesn't know me very well, I really wanted to shave because it was getting itchy - nothing at all to do with Libby's preferences.

So, I asked the guy playing on his phone at a "beauty saloon" in Thamel the price of a straight-razor shave. At 80 rupees (~$1), I didn't even have the heart to negotiate. I sat down and said, "Have at it!" He offered Libby the seat next to me to photograph, and little did either of us know what we were getting into. The lathering was expected. I've watched my purposefully-bald friend shave a few times, and I was delighted to know that the barber here had a horse hair tool for the job. I was even more pleased when he unwrapped a fresh, new razor. So far, so good.
He proceeded to pinch my face here or there to draw it taught and get nice smooth strokes. He made me bleed a little when he went over a couple pimples, which he tried to explain to me that he was sorry for. No problem. He even lathered me up again and gave everywhere a second pass. Great! I started to get up, and he asked me if I'd like "cleansing?" It took me a couple of times before I realized what he was asking, but how could I turn the guy down? Sure, the streets of Nepal can leave you feeling a little less than fresh, and I heard that there was some massage involved. I accepted readily. So readily, I guess, that he assumed I wanted The Works. This "barber", a.k.a masseuse, beautician mastermind, and chiropractor proceeded to do no less than the following laundry list of services:
Cleansing/Massage - After a quick spray in the face with the spray bottle of water, he massaged a white "facial cleansing milk" into my skin to the point of it becoming a paste. He then had to extract that paste with the use of string, and then several tissues, each of which he showed to both me and Libby so that we could appreciate the amount of dirt coming off of my face.
Max? No, mask. - Neither Libby nor I have ever had a facial before, but we think this was it. He applied this transparent, reddish mask all over my face, and only then asked if I had 10 minutes [to wait for it to harden]. Luckily, he sped up my wait time by fanning me/periodically whacking me in the face with a magazine. We think he was distracted my the random teenagers that came into the shop to spray themselves in the hair and face with his spray bottle. Anyway, after some time, he peeled off the mask and showed me the pore-cleansing holes that remained. I knew that I had received great service then, and started to get up. Not even close, Mike. He wrenched the spray bottle back from the teenagers and shoe-d them from the store so that he could continue with my treatment.
Mentholly paste - After applying another liberal spray with his trusty spray bottle, he stung my increasingly raw face with what smelled like icy hot. This also needed to be wiped clear and another spray from the bottle needed application.
Aftershave rock - I have no idea what this was but it smelled similar to my aftershave, and he kept dipping it in water, and believe it or not, it stung a little too. I don't even know what this purple thing was.
More spray bottle - This time the spray bottle got its own section because it was followed by a watery massage. Contrary to popular Nepali belief, water is not a lotion or lubricant, and I think that this portion of the treatment was meant to clear all of skin that had not been removed during the other phases.
Full upper body massage/joint cracking- Again not sure how my acceptance of his offer of "cleansing" led him to believe that I was interested, but after my face got several massages, I suppose he wanted to have the rest of me feeling refreshed as well. The scalp massage was awesome, and then he did some light patting on my head, which turned weird. Finally, he began to really thump on my noggin' and the back of my neck, and it turned into a shoulder massage. Next thing I knew, he had popped my neck in several different directions, all of my fingers, my back to both sides, and then my lower back, by having pulled both my arms behind my head yanking. A true miracle worker in the end, I just didn't have patience for such royal treatment.
This couldn't be just $1 for all this, could it? No... the price had jumped to 850 rupees, just over $10. Still not bad for a facial/massage/whatever the heck else. And Libby paid. So I got the heck out of there before he could pull another random bottle off of the shelf to harass me with.

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